I read a blog called A Holy Experience and the other day I read a post entitled For the Mother of Teenagers Who Aches But a Bit. It's the writer, Ann Voskamp's reflection on her relationship with her son, how quickly time passes, how difficult it was at times to be a new mom and how it truly takes all of the years of making a boy into a man to teach a woman how to be a mother. At six months already, I want so badly to freeze time so that we can hold onto Hudson's baby years. And yes, I know we have many more months ahead of Hudson as a baby, but if the first six months are any indication of how fast time goes with a child then I vow to take in every single moment....slowly. I will try not to rush or anticipate the next milestone. I will try not to say, "I can't wait for this...or for that." And I will try to not waste time worrying or fixating on schedules, routines, or what he should or shouldn't be doing. Every smile, every giggle, every hug and snuggle...I will breathe in and cherish.
I often think about Carson's relationship with his mother, Jane. It's so gentle, loving and respectful. The sweet way she looks upon him with pride, the way she laughs with him and understands his humor because they are one in the same. And the way she encourages him and lets him be who he is...all the while simultaneously seeing the man he has grown to be and the little baby she once rocked to sleep. When I look into Hudson's eyes I wonder what that will be like...to see all of the stages of someones life at the same time. What a neat thing mothers are able to experience in that way! I pray that my relationship with Hudson can be as gentle, loving and respectful as the relationship Carson has with his Mom. She is a beautiful picture of what Mother means and I am so thankful for the way she loves me, Carson and Hudson.
Being a mom gives you such an appreciation for your own mother. My Mom is truly the most selfless person I have ever known. She would literally give you the clothes off of her back and the food in her hands if it meant that you would be more comfortable and happy. I am so blessed to know that I can always count on my Mom to lend a listening ear and a word of encouragement. I could call her any time day or night to complain about something completely ridiculous and she would stop whatever she was doing and fully give me her attention and whole heart. I am so so thankful for her and would not be the person I am today without her love, grace and encouragement. I pray that I can take just an ounce of what she poured into me growing up and share it with my family. It fills my heart with such joy to know that I am her Hudson. As much as I love him, that is how much she loves me. That is an extraordinary amount of love that I was never able to fathom until I felt it the day I, myself became a Mother.
Happy Mother's Day to ALL of the beautiful moms out there. You are so so special. Thank you for the love you share every day.
...to be a mother, this is the rarest gift in the world. Forbid, that we just have children and that is all — when everyday offers the unwrapping of wondrous, holy grace. - Ann Voskamp
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